Do those "Ohhs!" and "Ahhs!" excite your sexy partner? No doubt, as you breathe heavily and share pleasure with your lover, at one time or another you've probably exaggerated how much pleasure you are experiencing during sex. And most women will admit that they have faked orgasms in the past - or that they currently fake orgasms in certain sexual situations. A gazillion polls have been conducted to pinpoint the exact number of women who fake orgasms - findings range anywhere from 33% to 75% of women fake it to some degree. Regardless of which percentage is accurate, it is evident that plenty of women have faked it at one time or another!
We live in a performance-orientated culture - a culture that celebrates deliverance in clutch situations: How well did you do? Did you achieve your objectives? This type of mentality is not restricted to a single aspect of life, like one's professional life; it also lays the groundwork to assess one's performance in relationships, which is largely defined by a simple answer to a personal question: Did I make her climax; or did he make me orgasm? A "yes" or "no" answer produces dramatically different responses from questing partners.
If a woman explains that she enjoyed herself but did not orgasm, a man (or woman) questions his performance: What did I do wrong? Why didn't she orgasm? Is there something wrong with my penis or me? Some men freely ask these questions. Other men find such discussions incredibly difficult: Recognizing that a woman did not climax is a tough admission to oneself, much less a tough admission to a partner. Women recognize how uncomfortable some men feel when a partner does not climax. Faking orgasms is one way to alleviate a man's after-sex insecurities and a bombardment of questions: Did you enjoy yourself? How was that orgasm? Best, ever?
Women intuitively recognize that men define themselves sexually according to two interrelated considerations - sexual performance and penis size. These two factors drive men to repeatedly assess and question themselves about their hanky-panky prowess. Faking orgasms seems like a natural appeasement of the male ego; it's definitely the most convenient method; and some women justify faking orgasms as the "polite" thing to do - though, really, isn't it dishonest? And does faking it improve women's chances at experiencing the real-deal-Holyfield? No! It's paramount for couples to communicate about sex - the good, the bad, and even the ugly! A healthy relationship is founded on honest communication, so faking orgasms can be a detriment to the overall relationship.
No one deserves blame - or if blame must be handed out, it should be dealt to both men and women for not communicating. But men depend on women's reactions during sex to know if what they are doing works. Women don't want their partners to be disappointed, so faking orgasms is an easy way to instill false confidence in men - not in a mean-spirited way, of course! Despite women's loving intentions, they send mixed signals to men when exaggerated pillow clutches and formulaic vocal utterances supersede honest communication. How will your lover learn to make you sing sexy orgasmic songs if he thinks you are sexually satisfied when, in fact, you are not? There's something extraordinarily special about couples participating in honest discussions about how they feel and what they need!
Women must feel confident that their partner can handle honest feedback, which means men need to be open to suggestions and trying new techniques that feel better to women. A common complaint of women who fake orgasms is that their male partners don't devote enough time to cuddling, kissing, massaging, fondling, and foreplay. Men are biologically ready to pound away, but women are exactly the opposite: They need plenty of time to warm up, or to build momentum toward emotionally driven intercourse. Foreplay is critically important for climax too, because some women struggle with elusive vaginal (G-Spot) orgasms, preferring the convenience and pleasure of clitoral orgasms. Fellas, slow down that rocket propeller pushing you to skip foreplay. Your lovely lady needs more than a quickie - or she'll surely sing the blues. You want her singing your praises with authentic groans and moans!
So if men change their approach to foreplay and sex, and if women openly share their frustrations and are honest, all should fall into place. Right? Not necessarily. Some women unknowingly suffer from health problems that make orgasms feel uncomfortable or too sensitive or even too painful. Sometimes emotional issues and stress can interfere with female orgasms. The point is rather simple: Never assume that an inability to have an orgasm is directly related to sexual performance, because that's not always the case - and, in fact, is usually not the case. Life often gets in the way of slowing down and re-energizing our sexual spirit; we let our overwhelmed feelings block us from receiving intimate connections. Quite honestly: The easiest path - faking orgasms and rushing through sex - might be appealing and convenient, but it generally ends up being the more difficult path in the long-term.
Be sensitive to one another's needs. However, don't be ultra-sensitive to the point that you and your lover can't discuss sex. If your lover explains that she's not climaxing during sex, do your best to not take her comments personally. Her honesty means she cares about herself and you, and you can't ask for much more than her willingness to share her feelings with you. Your supportive and reassuring words will put her at ease, which you follow up with purposeful sexual action that meets her needs. Not all women orgasm at the same rate and intensity as other women - and that's neither good nor bad, more of a reality that can benefit from some adjustment and patience.
There is a chance that some women will continue to struggle with climaxing even after discussing it with their partners and after trying new techniques. In such cases, it has been VibeReview's experience that certain highly effective sex toys can be used to help partners ease into orgasmic territory. Men enjoy watching women masturbate with sex toys; it gives them an opportunity to see women orgasm without restraint and undue pressure of questioning partners. Women benefit from penetrative sex toys, as they can learn more about G-Spot orgasms, teaching themselves to know what types of penetration feel best - which helps women direct men during intercourse!
A healthy, active, and enjoyable sex life doesn't always come easy! The movies portray sex and lovemaking as an automatic sensual weapon ready to set off fireworks. That's the movies, of course - we live in reality, a place where relationships and communication are not always so straightforward. A partnership means that both people invest 100% of himself or herself into the relationship, including sexual matters. Faking orgasms prolongs a mediocre sex life that focuses too much on pleasing male egos at the expense of intense female pleasure - or it can be symptomatic of other issues that need resolving or possibly health concerns. Regardless of the underlying reasons, many men are more offended by a partner faking it than hearing the truth. Below you will find a few helpful sexy items that can aid you in your quest to quit faking it and improving your orgasms. Keep an open mind and get ready for the time of your life!
Sexy Items for Clitoral Orgasms
Sexy Items for G-Spot Orgasms
Sexy Items for Couples